Do you find yourself always in a tug war with balance? Always trying to find balance in your life? 

What does balance mean to you? 

What do you feel when you are OUT OF BALANCE?

I was thinking about these questions the other day when I had a conversation with a friend, who told me that she felt out of balance. 

When we were talking she was saying that she felt like she was just going around with her daily routines but not stopping to think about her life or enjoying the moment. 

She said that she felt in the “rat race”, like she didn't have enough time during the day and she felt STUCK.

Have you ever felt like this?

I know I have felt like this many times. 

To me, the idea of finding balance is not realistic. Seriously, what does it really mean? 

Does it mean that you have to spend equals amount of time on each of the things you do? Or that you have to give the same type of priority to everything?

That doesn't even make any sense! 

If you sleep 7-8 hours, you work 8-9 hours a day; you’ve already used up 15-17 hours of your day. Then you spend time driving, getting ready, eating… how are you supposed to use the other few hours left so you are balanced? 

Do you have to split your time equally between family, work, yourself, friends? 

Balance is a MYTH! 

For me, I realized that these times when I felt “out of balance” was when I wasn’t taking the time each day to stop and live the moment.

In my opinion, what we really mean when we say that we want balance is that we want to feel like we are enjoying what we do. We want to feel aligned with our priorities.

You want to end your day feeling like you’ve enjoyed your day fully. Like you did what you needed to do in your own terms and feeling ACCOMPLISHED.

You want to feel like you paid attention to those things that are IMPORTANT to you. 

You want to feel that you spent your time wisely. 

You want to wake up and know that you have a full day ahead where you will accomplish things that you want to do and that will make you feel FULFILLED.

You want to have a sense of control over your life and know at the same time that you can handle anything that comes your way.

You know that you can deal with surprises, because you allow the space in your life to handle them.

You are OK with things not getting done if they are not your priority.

You don't want to feel like you are doing things routinely, just because you have to.

You don't spend your days so busy that you don't have time for anything. 

You are not busy just “DOING”; you are enjoying “BEING”.

For all that, balance is totally personal and UP TO YOU. Balance doesn't mean the same for me than it does for you or for anyone else.

Because you might give different priorities to different things in your life and those priorities might shift overtime.

For you being balanced might mean that you get to spend more time each day with your kids. 

Or, it might mean that you get to spend time on your self-care. 

Or, that you ensure that you don't bring your work at home and over the weekends.

Balance might mean for you that you choose to SAY NO to things that you don't want to do and give yourself the peace of mind by doing so.

I think what we all look for is not balance it’s ALIGNMENT. 

You want to be present and enjoy every moment of your day without thinking about the next thing to do in your list. Without feeling the pressure of the doing and “busyness”. Without feeling like you are on autopilot. You want to get back in alignment with your priorities.

But how do you get there? 

How can you feel like you are aligned with your values and setting up your days accordingly when everything around you is a mess?

There are some simple tools that can help you feeling more in control of your days. 

Now, the tools are simple, but not easy. They require you to take a look at your life and see what is it that you want to spend your days on.

First, ask yourself:

What are your PRIORITIES in life? Is it your family, is it work, your friends, yourself, travelling, exercising, learning, creating, helping others? 

Then, based on your priorities take a look at your days and plan them following these steps:

1. Whatever it is that you VALUE, you need to ensure that you add it to your calendar.

2. You need to know where to set your BOUNDARIES. Whenever something comes up that is crossing them, you need to learn to say NO. 

3. You need to be ok with DELEGATING things that you don't want to do. And be ok with others doing things differently than yourself.

4. You need to SCHEDULE time for yourself. You need to schedule time for you to RECHARGE, RELAX and RECONNECT with your values. 

5. You need to spend time REEVALUATING what are your priorities, because they might change with time.

6. You need to be FLEXIBLE and be ok with readjusting. Because sometimes, there will be seasons where your job might be more important for you and you’ll be adjusting how you spend your hours. And there will be times where you family takes precedence and you’ll be adjusting accordingly all other commitments. 

And you need to realize that whatever you CHOOSE TO DO with your time, it’s perfectly OK. 

You don't need to give explanations or feel bad because you are being selective on how you spend your time. 

It’s YOUR LIFE. 

It’s your time, your days, your hours. 

Be picky on how you spend them, because once your hours are gone, they are gone for good. 

Let me know, have you thought about your priorities?

Do you know what do you value most?

What is it that you want to spend your time on?

Do you have any specific tools that help you feel aligned? 

xoxo,

Sofia