Life Coaching for High-Achieving Women Looking to Succeed While Feeling Aligned, Fulfilled and in Control

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Tips to stop feeding negativity into your day

The other day I saw in the gym a lady walking in with a t-shirt that read in big letters on her chest “I’m not getting ready today”.

The lady went into the personal training area to get with her trainer and start her workouts. 

The thought that popped in my mind was about what effect the words in her t-shirt could have in her actions. 

Because I’m sure you know, WORDS MATTER. 

WHAT you say to yourself matter and HOW you say it matters even more. 

Negative statements create a specific reaction in your body which is very different to the one created by a positive statement. 

In every conversation there is a physical chemical release of hormones and depending on which hormones you release that will determine how you feel after that conversation. 

NEGATIVE comments spike your CORTISOL levels (your stress hormone) and it can last in your system for as long as 26 hours!!!

But, when you make a POSITIVE comment, it triggers your feel-good hormone OXYTOCIN.

The problem is that oxytocin lasts a lot less in your system… so the effects of the negative comment have a bigger physiological impact on you.

These comments could be in a conversation, could be in a video you watched, something you say to yourself in your own mind, the music you listen to, or it could be the message you read in the t-shirt you chose to wear today. 

So what you say, you think, you read or you hear can make you feel stressed out or not. 

What you wear can stress you out.

Just think about it, you are in the gym trying to get into your best shape, working towards your goal, putting the hard work but the message you see every time when you see yourself in the mirror is “I’m not getting ready today”, do you think that the message could IMPACT your performance? Do you think that the message could make you feel less energetic? 

How’d you feel if the message said instead “I’m ready for anything today”? Isn’t that more EMPOWERING?

Imagine that you wake up in the morning and you turn on the news where they are talking about something horrible that just happened in your city.  

You check your Facebook to see what’s going on with your friends and see your friend boasting about their latest vacation in Hawaii, with all their fantastic shots at the beach sipping tropical drinks and relaxing. You are soooo envious, how can they even afford that? They don't make more than you do? “Oh, I wish I was there. Instead, here I am, stuck at home and having to go to work…”

You get ready for work and hurry out because you are running late now. 

Then you get on the car and listen to the news on the radio, continuing with all the negative news. You get all frustrated with traffic on the way to the office because the person in front of you was driving and texting and didn't know you were trying to pass them because they were freaking slow!

You get to work all flustered up. 

You meet with your colleagues at the coffee area as they start talking about the disaster that happened in some other country, they start complaining about the weather, about their boss, their stress and of course, about the horrible traffic.

You are simmering now, you don't feel extremely angry but you feel slightly unhappy and frustrated without knowing why. 

You get to your emails and the frustration and unhappiness grows more as you see the pile of emails in you inbox and all the things that you have to do before lunch…

While all of this happens, the only voice that you can hear in your head is telling you “I should have waken up earlier, so the traffic wouldn't be so bad”, “I should have packed my lunch”, “I didn't go to the gym today, I’m a looser”, “Shit, I forgot to iron my shirt, I look horrible”…

The only thoughts going through your mind are negative ones that are getting you even more unhappy and frustrated. You are not having a good day today and it’s not even lunch time!

You see, when the first things that get to your mind after you wake up are all negative, about disasters, about lack, about not being enough, all that negativity starts to work on your body. 

Your cortisol spikes and it gets you all hyper. Your stress is up and it doesn't go down because you are constantly feeding yourself with negativity. 

The effects of the constantly elevated cortisol are multiple, and not good for you. 

Amongst other things, chronically elevated cortisol causes hypertension, high blood pressure, insulin resistance, metabolic syndrome, carbohydrates cravings, and increase your fat deposits around your belly area. And that doesn’t include all the effects that it has on your brain…

Cortisol per se is not bad, it has its function and it’s beneficial for your body. 

The problem is when it stays elevated all the time. With all the constant negative stimulation from your daily routines.

So, if you know that negativity affects you so much, wouldn't it be smart to get rid of it whenever is possible?

Of course, there are times where you are going to be exposed to it, sometimes you cannot get rid of your negative colleagues at work… but, you can LIMIT your exposure to them.

You can CHOOSE what type of news you see, even choose not to watch the news.

You can SELECT what you want to listen on the radio.

You can choose what you watch on your phone.

You can choose what you wear…

When you are trying to change that negative voice inside of your head, it will take more time... 

But the good news is, that it can change, and as you stop the negative input all around you, it’ll slowly start to be less negative. 

Change starts with you and you can increase your awareness about all the negative inputs in your life. But you can also start to notice how you interact with others…

Now that you know the effect that being negative has in you and in all the people around you, and that whatever you say it will increase their cortisol for up to 26 hours, what WILL YOU DO to make them feel better?

Maybe, the next time that you see something that you don't like about your colleague and you are about to say something, you can instead stop for a second and FLIP that negative comment INTO a POSITIVE one.

What can you say to someone today that will make him or her feel better?

How can you lift someone else up, instead of bringing him or her down?

My challenge to you is to be aware of all the negativity you let into your life. 

Be aware of those negative thoughts. 

Be aware of what you listen to. 

Be aware of who you surround yourself with. 

Be aware even of those tiny little things that seem harmless, such the wording in a t-shirt…

Try it and see if you can eliminate at least one thing that brings you negativity. Just ONE. 

And then, see how it makes you FEEL. 

Try and SMILE to someone.

Try to be UPLIFTING to others.

Try to increase their oxytocin, instead of their cortisol. 

You’ll notice that just by doing that, you’ll start FEELING BETTER too.

xoxo,

Sofia