I was at work; we were having a meeting with some vendors and asking them a few questions to understand their expertise. At one point, one of my colleagues asked a simple question but the vendors weren’t able to understand what was the question about.

My colleague, the one asking the question, tried to explain himself in three different ways to see if the vendors would get what he was saying, but they still wouldn't get him…

While my colleague was asking the questions, trying to explain the issue, I noticed the face of another of my colleagues getting more and more tense, I could see her face literally tensing up with each second…until she couldn't hold it any more and she exploded and asked the question herself but in a “not very nice tone” to say the least… her irritation was sensed over the phone, and I can only imagine what was the feeling at the other side of the line. I imagine they felt as uncomfortable as the rest of us did. 

Anyway, the meeting continued, and nothing else was out of control. There were no more issues and no one else got angry and frustrated. 

After the meeting was finished, my colleague recognized that she was, in her own words, a little “witchy”. She told me that normally she is in that type of mood whenever she is back from a vacation, and she just came back from one.  

When she was telling me this, she told me that she understood that she should be relaxed and recharged whenever she came back from a vacation… But for her, that wasn't the case, because her vacations were trips to visit her older sister. 

She was talking to me and her eyes started to redden and swell with held back tears…

For her, visiting her sister was a reminder of the little time they spend together. Her sister is much older than her and she realized that they might not have a lot of time together.  Whenever she travels to visit her, she asks herself the same question, what am I doing? Why am I not with her? I miss her so much, and yet I spend so little time with her…

So, whenever she is back to work, she is sad, and frustrated and angry and “witchy”… but it has nothing to do with how others treat her or whether they can’t answer a question right or wrong… It’s all about her frustration and her own realization that she is not living how she would like to…

Before I asked her what was holding her from moving closer to her sister, she answered it herself… she has to work, she needs to earn a living.  She needs to ensure she has her retirement secured…

I was listening to her and I knew exactly how she felt. Because that’s exactly how I feel. 

Whenever I go back and spend time with my sisters and my niece, I have the same feeling. I miss being with them, enjoying more time together. I miss seeing my niece grow up. 

But I chose to live far away from them, because that’s where I got an amazing opportunity. I’ve never dreamt that I’d be able to live in the US and yet, I was given the chance, so I said yes. 

And that choice has changed my life in ways I’d never have imagined. It has expanded my world so much; it has brought incredible opportunities, new friends, new experiences and new cultures. It has allowed me to explore new countries, try different foods and learn and open my mind in many diverse ways.

I know that and I’m blown away daily just seeing that I am a here. I am so incredibly grateful!

But, at the same time, I gave up other things, and the one that I miss the most is the time with my sisters and my niece. 

Have you sacrificed doing something in your life that you’d love to do? Do you miss doing something that you used to do? Do you get upset sometimes because you are not doing what you would like to be doing? Are you frustrated because you’d like to be doing something else?

How do we put ourselves in these situations? How is it that we sacrifice doing things that we love to do?

How can we find balance in our choices? Is it possible to have it all? 

What can you do about it? 

One thing that helps with being at peace with your choices is to make them based on your beliefs and values.  By acting congruently with your beliefs, you’ll be in alignment with your choices and less likely to feel frustrated and upset. 

Many times the frustration shows up when you are not doing things aligned with your deepest beliefs. 

So, one thing to do when you feel frustrated is to stop and evaluate which ones of your beliefs are being breached. What is it that you are doing that it is not in accordance with your values? What can you do to align your actions with your beliefs?

In my case, family is one of my core values. So, not being able to spend more time with them is not aligned with my value. That’s why I get frustrated. That’s why it bothers me.

So, what can I do about it? 

At this stage in my life, I try to schedule at least a yearly trip where I can see my sisters. In the future, I’d like to do more trips during the year, so I’m planning for that.  

And, in the meantime, our smart phones are the best connection we have. And thanks to that we keep connected. Not exactly the same, I know, but it helps with the distance…

As far as finding balance and having it all…I think these are great goals to work towards. 

I believe balance is dynamic; it’s not always the same. It’s not about having a “balanced” schedule with the same time for everything you want to do daily. 

It’s more like a flow. And you need to experiment to find what is the best flow for you. 

There’ll be seasons where some things will be more challenging than others and will require more time from you, other seasons where they will require less time. So, you modify your days accordingly. You balance your time in accordance with the season you are in at a specific moment. 

You can work to have it all at … just make sure you do it in alignment with who you are, with what you believe and with your values. And be ready to flow through different seasons depending on what your goals are at those times.

And, remember, the next time you are about to be “witchy”, check first what your frustration is telling you because, as it happened to my colleague, it might have nothing to do with the person in front of you at the moment…

Now, you tell me, is there an area in your life that is making you feel frustrated? Have you checked which of your values are you breaching? Do you know what your values and beliefs are? Can you commit to make your future decisions based on your values? Share with me below, I’d love to hear from you!

xoxo,

Sofia