One tip to stop the comparison trap
I saw a post in FB that was talking about not feeling beautiful. Normally I would just read the post and reflect on it but not tell my opinion.
This time is different. This time, I feel compelled to say something because this topic hits close to home. Maybe I can say something that will change the way someone thinks about themselves or maybe not. I just need to express what I feel about this.
As you see in my picture, I am bald. I am a woman without hair. Ok, let me rephrase it, I do have some hair but I have Alopecia Areata, an autoimmune disease where my body decides to attack my own hair follicles and make the hair not grow in random areas of my head and the rest of my body.
So I decided a few years ago to shave my head (for the second time in my life). This, by any current cultural beauty standards, makes me “Not Beautiful”.
In this current age, the external measures of beauty in women say that you have to have a silky, gorgeous amount of hair flowing out of your head to be beautiful and, to be sexy too. So according to this, I am not beautiful and I am not sexy.
Really?? I consider myself beautiful (some days even gorgeous, depending on my mood 😉) and I consider myself sexy (even though I don't have big boobs or my hips are not a certain size). So, why would you think of yourself less?
Why would you let anyone tell you how you have to see yourself in the mirror when you wake up in the mornings?
Why do you listen to someone’s ideas about how you should look or feel?
Why do we bring ourselves down because we are not a certain way or we don't have a certain look?
Have you ever felt into the comparison trap?
Why do we listen to all this crap?
My opinion is that’s because somewhere along our path we have lost the feeling of wonder, we have lost the knowing that we are special, we have lost the excitement of our childhood and we’ve let the daily routine make us feel “normal”.
If you were to remember every second of you life how special you are, that each of us is unique, that there is only one of you in this earth, you wouldn't let anyone tell you that you need to follow some random standard.
You wouldn't look for conformity with other’s opinions because you would value your own opinion more than theirs.
You wouldn't let yourself be measured by external factors and instead, you would let your individuality shine in everything you do.
I think if we all started to understand that each of us is amazing, we all would see the unique beauty in ourselves and we would stop feeling bad because someone’s ideal doesn't look like us.
You would stop comparing to each other and you would acknowledge your differences as strengths and not obstacles.
You would bring diversity into action and see the beauty in everyone.
So, this is what I say to myself daily: “I am the only one of me out there, and just because of that, I am beautiful and OH HELL YEAH, I AM sexy!”
Now, tell me, do you compare yourself to others? Do you tend to feel trapped by the standards imposed by others? How do you deal with the comparison trap?
Share your thoughts below and let me know!
xoxo,
Sofia