Three steps to deal with the changes in your life

A few months ago, I decided that each month I would choose one area to focus, one specific theme that will help me become better.

In February I chose as the monthly topic “be present”, because I wanted to remind myself to enjoy the moment and to live in the now.

During March I chose “be congruent” to remind myself that my daily choices and actions should match my inner values and beliefs. 

In April I chose to focus on “not complaining”. In May, it was “discipline”.

And for the month of June, I decided to focus on dealing with change…

And oh my gosh! I couldn’t have chosen a better topic for this time in my life… 

Of course, I’m not the only one that is dealing with a lot of changes in our normal life these days. 

We are living during unprecedented times all over the world. We are all learning the hard way how to deal with change.

We are learning how to adapt to the new situations that we are facing daily.

How to be safe, how to keep others safe, how to stay at home for long periods of time, how to keep the distance from our loved ones, how to return to work safely, how to stay at work and be safe, how to deal with the lack of work, how to deal with furloughs, how to deal with unemployment, how to do our best when the situation is not within our control, how to deal with injustice, how to deal with racism, how to deal with the lack of equality, how to deal with all the emotions that we are going through…

For me, personally, the fact that we needed to stay at home, didn’t affect me much, I don’t mind not going out, and I love my time alone, so that part was not too bad.

Dealing with the pandemic and all the ups and downs of the news was unnerving, learning the facts about what was going on was a constant challenge and then, the biggest problem was when I was told my project was cancelled and I didn’t have any other project to work on. I was put on furlough. 

I had a lot of mixed feelings when it happened. On one hand I was afraid of not having a project to return to; of being out of work, of not having a salary and of having to apply for unemployment. At the same time, I had a deeper sense that I would be ok no matter what happened. 

Then, after two weeks I was told I had a project to work on but it would require me to move to another city. Here was my moment of choice. I talked to my husband and we decided that we would move. And that’s when I started reminding myself that change is good.

As I said yes to the new job, a bunch of new things showed in the to-do list.

In addition to all that’s going on, we had the additional stress of arranging a move to another city in a matter of a few weeks. We had to get everything packed out of the house where we had been living for 15 years, we had to prepare the house for rental, find contractors to do them, find a realtor, a property manager, then find a place to live in a city we didn’t know. And all with a timeline of about 6 weeks. On top of that, I had to return to work to start working in the new project with a new team of people I’ve never met doing a different type of work which required me to be focused. 

So to say the least, it was a stressful time full of changes. 

And I kept repeating to myself that change is good.

During all this transition, which is still ongoing by the way, I realized that there three things that are keeping me sane during all of this. 

And that is what I wanted to share with you because maybe, you are also going through a lot of changes in your own life. 

You see, when you face change, you are facing the fear of the unknown. You feel afraid of the new that’s in front of you and the grief of leaving behind what you are familiar with. 

But of course, without change you cannot move forward and progress, so how do you do to deal with it and keep your sanity? 

Step one: Give yourself a break and let yourself feel whatever it is that you are feeling.

I realized that the first step for me was to acknowledge the overwhelm. 

Plain and simple, I said it out loud. When I had to face packing all my things, I was overwhelmed. And I stopped, I took a break and went over to my husband and told him that I was feeling overwhelmed. 

The simple fact of stopping and recognizing your feelings will help you feeling better. 

Step two: focus on what you will gain with the change instead of what you will be missing.

The second thing I realized these days dealing with change was that I needed to focus on what I’ll be gaining and not on what I’ll be losing. 

If I start to think about leaving my peaceful and beautiful backyard and the fact that I will be moving into an apartment without a green space I would be sad and depressed which it will not help me. Instead, I focus on what I will have once I move to the new city, which in my case is access to the oceanside. That is a BIG plus, so I focus on that and it helps with keeping me uplifted. 

Step three: focus on what you can control, one thing at a time.

The third thing that is helping me these days is to repeat in my mind my favorite mantra, “one thing”.

With so many things to do, so many new changes coming, if I let myself being scattered I will feel more overwhelmed and stressed. So, whenever I feel that I am getting too scattered, I remember my mantra: one thing. I’ll focus on just one thing and progress on that. I focus on what I can control which is right in front of me. And after that one thing, I move to the next one thing. One thing at a time.

And a bonus tip: remember to have fun in the process! Joy and laughter are important to keep you sane during big changes! Don’t take yourself too seriously!

So there it is, a few tips to help you deal with change and not feeling overpowered by it. 

I know these tips are helping me daily and I hope they help you as well. 

Now, let me know, how do you deal with change in your life? Do you have any specific things that you do that help you with the fear of change? 

Share your thoughts below, I’d love to know!

xoxo, 

Sofia