Use this tool to reduce your fear to change

Change is hard and unsettling. 

I’m sure you already know that. Nothing new. 

As humans we are wired to be on alert when things change. When we lived in tribes, noticing what was different and out of the normal was what kept us alive. So we default to be ok with things as usual. We default to be afraid of things when they are unknown to us. We default to being fearful of change.

And, as far as this year goes, change is the main thing we are being forced to deal with…wouldn’t you agree?

The whole world has been forced to change quite suddenly. Politics are being looked at, recognizing that we cannot do things as usual. Our society has been forced to stop doing business as usual.

There is so much change going on in every area of our lives. But we are not really prepared to deal with it.

How can you deal with change effectively if you are wired to be fearful of it? 

How can you cope with all the changes that are happening in your life these days?

This is a question I am asking frequently nowadays.

Life as normal was stopped more than three months ago. We had to adapt to work from home, to be inside of our homes all the time, to stop traveling, to shopping less often, to not meeting in person with our family and friends, to talking and meeting over video, to homeschooling our kids, to do our fitness classes over internet…we had to change quickly. 

Now, the reverse is happening. We need to get back to “normal” and start feeling safe outside our homes. We need to go back to our work. Start seeing others, go out to our favorite restaurants, go to the salon, go back to the gym…

This is stressing me out a bit. Change is required again.  

Everyone is slowly returning to “business as usual”… the states are opening, traveling is starting to happen and everyone starts to go outside while we are still dealing with the pandemic… 

How do you feel? 

Do you feel fearful of returning to “life as normal”? Are you reluctant to go out and gather with more people? Are you confused about using or not using a mask? Where to use it? When? Should others wear a mask around you? Will you allow others to come to your home? How about letting your kids or teenagers go and meet with their friends? Are you ok letting your kids play with their grandparents? 

These are all questions that are roaming in my mind now that we are returning to normal. How can we deal with our fears, keep our family safe and return to “normal”?

When I deal with situations where I don’t know what to do, I tend to rely on my engineering background and analytical skills.

I listen to my feelings, I feel the fear and the anxiety and I understand where they come from. But what it helps me out getting clarity, is to sit down and write down what I feel and analyze it until I realize how to deal with the situation. 

And that’s what I’m sharing with you today. Maybe it helps you to figure out how to deal with change in your life. Whatever change that you might face that it’s making you feel anxious and stressed out. 

In engineering we use a few tools to asses risks before starting a project, before doing certain activities. We also do what is called a job safety analysis (JSA) to understand what are the things that we will be doing in a task, what is required to do the tasks, what are the safety measures needed, what are the tools needed, to inform everyone doing the task and ensure that everyone is on board and understand the possible hazards and their responsibilities before the task starts. 

You might be thinking, what has all of these have to do with my stress and anxiety about going out while we are still dealing with the Covid-19 and the pandemic? 

You can use this tool to evaluate your own risks’ tolerance and how you will approach certain situations. 

Imagine that you are now required to go back to work, back to your office and that you feel stressed out because you are not sure how to do it safely. You know you have to go back, but at the same time, you are afraid of the increased risk of being around other people.

What I suggest is doing a very simple risk analysis/task analysis so you are aware of everything that you’ll be confronting and you have a plan of action that makes you feel more relaxed. How would that look like? 

You can just simply start by writing down on a piece of paper first what is the situation that you are looking at. 

Imagine, in this case, going back to work at the office. Imagine yourself on the day you have to go back. Think of all the situations you will be dealing during the day and what will you do at each one. Visualize the day in detail and write down the different activities. 

Beside each activity, write down what will you do to mitigate your risks.

Look at the whole list.

Do you feel better when you are focusing on the things that you can control?

Think about how that first day going to work will look like.

See yourself getting out of your house, do you have a mask to wear when you are with others? Do you have hand wipes or hand sanitizer to use whenever you touch things around you?

Will you bring your own lunch or go somewhere to eat? Will you be ok sharing the elevator? Or would you rather take the stairs? Will you keep your distance at the office when talking to your colleagues? 

By visualizing your day in advance and writing down the possible actions, you can see what are the things you will need to prepare so you feel comfortable going out. 

But also remember that everyone around you has a different tolerance towards risks and others will not be wearing masks or using hand sanitizer. 

Remember that you cannot control others. 

Focus on what you can control.

Do what you need to do to reduce your stress and fear to this new change.

Take away some of the emotional charge by using your analytical skills and writing down your fears and measures to reduce them.

Just the simple act of writing them down and doing a “brain dump” in paper will help you immensely in reducing your anxiety…

When it comes to dealing with change, be clear about how you feel.

Be aware of what stresses you out.

Express your fears with those close to you, you might be surprised to know that they might have the same fears than you…

Set your own rules and decide what are your limits for change. 

Now let me know, are you aware of how you deal with change? Do you have any specific tools you use to decrease the anxiety that change brings? 

Please share your comments below, I’d love to know!

xoxo,

Sofia